Gallbladder Surgery!

I went to the hospital for the 3rd time in 2 weeks for this pain, nausea and vomiting. After taking x rays and an ultrasound, low and behold the gallstones finally made their debut! I knew I wasn't crazy. I met with my surgeon today. My gallbladder will be removed on Monday :) FINALLY!

Money or Love?

Would you choose money over love? My ex chose my money over me. What a way to make me feel LIVID. If you love someone you work through money because it all eventually falls into place. I guess I'm not as important to him as he was to me. His loss because I know who I am! He shall go through life cursed because he lives materialistic. One who knows no love knows sadness and pain. 

Gallbladder Surgery?

Saw my primary physician today. She said because of the pain and vomiting I would most likely need my gallbladder removed. She is referring me to a GI specialist first so they can scope out my insides. After that a trip to the surgeon. I will be so happy not to be sick anymore.

On a flip note, my bf dumped me because he's moving. How fucking lame. He chose money over love.

Shitty Week....

Well this has been one shitty week. I just *sigh*. I have been sick for two weeks now. Two trips to the ER and one to my doctor in the last week! I have been in such horrendous pain with nausea and vomiting. This is apparently caused from gallbladder spasms. Even with all the pain and puking, the ER doc didn't find it necessary to remove my gallbladder. I am SICK of being sick! I can't stay awake because when the nausea comes on I have to take Phenegren that was prescribed. This stops the vomiting but I still feel queasy. At least they did prescribe Vicodin for the pain. I only take that when I REALLY need it. I will call my doctor tomorrow and get in to see her again. Maybe she can refer me to a gastro doctor that will help with my gallbladder. 

The other thing that's been going on this week is that my boyfriend dumped me straight out of the blue. I didn't even see it coming. Is he really that mean of a person? I guess so. He just flat out didn't return phone calls or texts for like 2 days. I am such a good person so I don't know what happened. I am walking around with a WTF look on my face for a week now. I sent him a Facebook message to wish him a happy birthday and I didn't even get a thank you back. WTF did I do that was so wrong he can't tell me? One major thing we don't disagree on is children. I am 39 years old and have three kids already. They are 19, 16, and 13. I have been raising kids for almost 20 years. And with my medical problems, it would not be a good thing to have another one. Put the medical problems aside, what about my education? I am now in a masters program for psychology specializing in health psychology, a child would make that graduation in 1 1/2 years nearly impossible. And I told him the night we met that I did not and would not have any more children. He seemed ok with that when we met. I also think the reason he split is because I have been so sick. He is a person that doesn't believe in the use of medications. But I cannot help it! I have diabetes, kidney disease, and neuropathy. So no meds is not working for me. 

So I think I am just going to stay single forever. They say there is someone for everyone but I have yet to find that someone in 20 years! In almost 40 I still cannot figure out the meaning of life/ For me the meaning is just paying bills and barely scraping by, and doing it all by myself. I think I am a STRONG woman to have to deal with what life has given me all by myself! NO one is going to take care or help me but ME. Long story short, depend on no one but yourself. Life is shitty and we all must deal with the shit pile it leaves on our front door step! 

Still Sick & Heartbroken

Went to my doctor today. I have a kidney infection and because of the pain as well as the detection of bilirubin in my urine, I have to get an ultrasound of my gallbladder on Wednesday. I am not a happy camper. I still feel nauseous and I am still puking and in pain. Still feeling weak and tired as well. At least now I know what is wrong.

That is just the half of it. Not only have I been really ill, but my boyfriend hasn't spoken to me since Saturday when I gave him a hug and told him goodbye. What kind of shit is that? I will tell you what kind, the chicken shit kind! He should have been a man about wanting to break up. For Christ's sake I am a big girl and afterall, I am overly used to rejection! He left me when I needed him most. I just don't understand. It's time to move on once again. He could have told me what was bothering him. NO he had to wait until I get sick to dump me.

He has known from the start that I have diabetes with kidney and neurological complications. He chose to still keep dating me. If this was going to be a problem then he should have spoke up. He is one of those types that doesn't believe in medication or doing what one has to do to save themselves from a young death. I am sorry but I am a fighter! If I need a special diet and meds to live then by the stars above I will do what my doctor says!!!! I want to live to see many things, including some grandchildren. I am a good person with a huge heart and its such a shame that the men I have dated cannot see it. Someday.....

Impending Doom...

....Has arrived. I knew something horrible was awaiting. Fate is cruel. Melvin hasn't spoken to me all day. No text or call. I knew I was going to be heartbroken again it was just a matter of time. I just can't take anymore stress. I don't know what to do. I always feel like I'm never good enough. Nothing goes right for me.

Matchbox Twenty- North- New CD

I LOVE this CD! Mellow sounds mixed with faster paced songs. The CD is a must have for all Matchbox Twenty fans. All the songs are good! My favorite song on the CD is "Overyjoyed", an upbeat type of love song. Another good track is "Like Sugar." If you are a fan, do yourself, and Matchbox Twenty, a favor, buy it! xD I highly recommend this CD for fans of Alternative rock music.

Hurt Feelings...

Well, if you guys have been reading my blog, then you know I have taken ill. I am STILL throwing up, nauseous, and still in a lot of back pain. I went to my boyfriend's this weekend and it was a fairly nice weekend. I came back home last night and still felt like shit. I slept most of the day today because I am STILL sick. I am still taking Phenegren and Vicodin to help with the vomiting and pain. My boyfriend hasn't sent ONE text or made ONE phone call to see if I feel ok. I don't get that? I sent him a text and go NO answer. Made TWO calls and went to voice mail. Will someone tell me WTF did I do wrong!!! I just want to feel better and not be ignored by my supposed significant other. I just hope for his sake he forgot his phone at home. I won't wait up all night for a phone call. This is really hurting my feelings. I also got my feelings hurt Friday night at dinner. All I can say is WTF?

ER Visit

I spent a few hours at the hospital tonight. I went by ambulance because I was feeling so sick and weak that I could barely move off the bed. I have been feeling sick on and off for awhile. I had blood drawn, urinalysis, and a CT scan on my kidneys because I have beginning stage nephropathy thanks to damn diabetes! Everything came back ok. Problem: I feel sick as hell and cannot find the cause. The ER focused on back pain. They didn't do anything to check for gallbladder disease. I guess tomorrow I am going to call my primary doc and talk to her. This is going on for too long! I am always nauseous. Drives me effing nuts. There has to be a medical reason for the fatigue and chronic general ill feeling. I like how I was puking in my room in a bucket and teared with pain and no one bothered to help. I couldn't find the nurse call button!!! I finally got another dose of Zofran and some Morphine for pain. I got sent home with a script for Phenegren for nausea and Vicodin for the pain. The Morphine has me wide awake! Ohhhh and how about the doctor ordered a damn chest x-ray when I came in with flank pain! All I can say about this entire hospital fiasco is WTF! 

Child Support

Well, well, well no surprise here! Once again my child support payment is late. Probably done out of spite because my ex knows I have a boyfriend now. Pretty shameful huh? Men you need to take care of your responsibilities! On time!!

Finances

Well everything fell into place today and I'm happy for it xD. I've been feeling this impending doom about to wreck my life for the past two weeks. But now that feeling has eased up. Light bill of $195 is paid and I can pay back money I borrowed to fix my car. That's Another good thing! I did get my car back yesterday. Three weeks no car = Carol goes bat shit crazy!  So things will be good for a few months now. I can focus on school and getting a job. Who knows, maybe that impending doom is something else?

Something completely random,  I found my Garbage Pail Kids sticker online lol.